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Not Necessarily the News

"News" and "true" are not synonymous. Much of what's posted to the Internet as news is inaccurate, misleading, exaggerated, or outright fake.

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A Romanian couple named their son 'Yahoo' as a sign of gratitude for their having met over the Internet.

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A man freed himself from an avalanche by drinking beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

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Women in Germany face the loss of unemployment benefits if they decline to accept work in brothels.

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A mouse set a house on fire after the homeowner threw the rodent into a pile of burning leaves.

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An Oregon girl's message-in-a-bottle was found by a boy in Hawaii.

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An alligator captured in the Chicago River in June 2008 was the first such creature ever found in that body of water.

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A vengeful Polish dentist pulled out all of her ex-boyfriend?s teeth after he dumped her.

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A Swedish man died after having sex with hornet's nest.

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A man in China has sued his wife for bearing him ugly children.

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The Gateway Arch in St. Louis is slated for demolition in early 2015.

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Doctors discovered that a pregnant woman's unborn daughter was also pregnant.

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A death row inmate was released from prison after two execution attempts failed.

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Oprah Winfrey posted bail for 'sexy felon' Jeremy Meeks.

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President Obama has proclaimed August 2014 to be 'International Muslim Awareness Month.'

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Police recently found 17 plastic-wrapped bodies in the Ohio River.


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U.S. schools are requiring children to be implanted with RFID chips in an effort to curb gun violence.

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An Oklahoma City McDonald's was caught with horse meat and human meat in their freezer.

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Police in New Jersey found a body that had lain undisturbed for five years under a motel bed.

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Former president George W. Bush was arrested in Dallas for cocaine possession.

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Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter has cancelled his retirement plans to sign with the Boston Red Sox.

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Actor Russell Johnson of Gilligan's Island fame has been identified as the Zodiac Killer.

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Coca-Cola is recalling millions of bottles of Coke with the name Michael on the label.

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A school of killer whales attacked and killed 16 crewmembers of a Japanese whaling boat.

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A NYPD police officer killed a baby following a breastfeeding dispute with the child's mother.

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Photograph shows a honeymooner taking an underwater selfie moments before he was killed by a shark.

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The artificial sweetener aspartame was originally developed as an ant poison.

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The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), also known as food stamps, will be discontinued in March 2015.

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Facebook will begin monitoring posts for indications of drug activity.

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The state of California is fining ?Ice Bucket Challenge? participants for wasting water.

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A group of teenagers re-enacting the plot of the film The Purge 2 in Chicago murdered over 112 people.

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George Zimmerman was arrested while visiting Ferguson, Missouri.

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The creator of Breaking Bad announced the series will return for a sixth season.

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Rapper Tupac Shakur, thought to have been killed in 1996, has come out of hiding.

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A teenager was sentenced to 25 years in prison for the prank known as "swatting."

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Congress has passed a bill to provide free cars to welfare recipients.

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Actress Betty White has died.

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Record-breaking snowfall is forecast to cover most of the United States this coming winter.

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President Obama will resign on 1 January 2015 over Benghazi.

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Coors Light beer has been found to be contaminated with cocaine.

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The remains of an ancient city were discovered in the Australian desert.

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A Florida teacher gave sixth grade students an explicit sex ed lesson involving a strap-on sex toy due to satisfy common core requirements.

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Prisoners swapped in exchange for the release of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl are now 'ISIS leaders.'

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Crystal meth has been legalized in Colorado.

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Michelle Obama announced plans to file for divorce from President Obama because he's always golfing.

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Puff Daddy, also known as Sean Combs, has been arrested in connection with the murder of Tupac Shakur.

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Basketball star Earvin "Magic" Johnson has donated blood for leukemia patients.

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Piracy has killed Netflix, as the streaming service cannot keep up with peer-to-peer sharing networks.

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Kanye West scored 106 points in a charity basketball game against a team of children in wheelchairs.

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Texas is about to legalize marijuana for medicinal and recreational use.

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Obamacare death panels have excuted Dorothy Zbornak, 86, because she was no longer useful.

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iPhone 6 devices assembled in Sierra Leone have been linked to an Ebola virus outbreak.

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Viral hoaxstress Jasmine Tridevil was found dead in her home.

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A prehistoric giant shark related to Megalodon has been captured.

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Artist Lana Newstrom is making millions of dollars selling invisible art.

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The CDC has announced trials of an Ebola vaccine that works only on white people.

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MTV is filming a new reality show, 12 and Pregnant.

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President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe announced plans for a "white Holocaust."

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Tax refunds for 2014 will be delayed until October of 2015.

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Sarah Palin has urged President Obama to invade Ebola.

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A historian claims he has discovered an eyewitness account of Jesus performing a miracle.

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Image circulates of an Ebola victim who has risen from the dead.

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Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo is gay.

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A man killed 7 people with a chainsaw at a haunted house in California.

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An Ebola outbreak in Chicago has left three people dead and four more sickened.

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A 14-year-old girl is pregnant with the "son of God."

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An open drink at a nurses' station led to three deaths.

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A 34-year-old woman was buried alive in Chicago.

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The Coen brothers have announced plans to begin filming a Big Lebowski sequel in January 2015.

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U2 singer Bono contracted the Ebola virus while caring for a man in Liberia.

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The town of Purdon, Texas was quarantined after a family of five tested positive for the Ebola virus.

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The U.S. Department of State issued a travel advisory for the state of Texas following an Ebola outbreak.

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A CDC whistleblower revealed a plot using the Ebola virus to embed all Americans with RFID tracking chips.

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Street artist Banksy's identity was revealed after he was arrested in Watford, England.

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Starbucks drinks contain semen because it adds "more flavor."

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Seventeen kindergarten students tested positive for Ebola in Texas.

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Las Vegas casinos want to legalize dog fighting to make more money.

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A corpse went undiscovered for two weeks at a haunted house.

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A study proved men who eat grits are more likely to father gay children.

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Crime reporter Nancy Grace was arrested for murder.

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Kenyan authorities released papers confirming Barack Obama's birth in that country.

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Third graders in Olathe, Kansas, contracted Ebola from a substitute teacher.

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Gov. Chris Christie has canceled Halloween trick-or-treating activities in New Jersey over fears of Ebola.

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The federal government will enact a nationwide minimum hunting age of 21.

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The Texas Department of Corrections will grant the request of a cannibal to have a child as his last meal.

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A baby was born in India with two separate minds enclosed in one head.

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A U.S. company is hiring mercenaries at a salary of $500,000 per year to kill ISIS members.

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A toddler was ejected from a roller coaster after his mother sneaked him onto the ride.

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Jaden Smith is planning to have his penis removed on his 18th birthday.

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Spider eggs used to stuff Beanie Babies have started hatching.

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California approved a $587 billion high-speed rail link to Hawaii.

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Astronaut Buzz Aldrin admitted the Apollo 11 moon landing was staged on a movie set.

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Wendy's hamburgers contain horse meat.

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A restaurant in Los Angeles was granted legal permission to serve dog meat.

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Disney has announced the production of Princes, their first film with openly gay characters.

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A UN official lambasted the "entitlement" of the parents of slain Ferguson, Missouri teen Mike Brown after they addressed the United Nations Committee Against Torture.

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Congress eliminated the child tax credit, the earned income tax credit (EITC), and mortgage deductions from the tax code under pressure from lobby groups and the Koch brothers.

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NASA's Mars rover Curiosity found a fish fossil near the Windjana drilling target.

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Tim Tebow was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

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The Green Bay Packers were busted for using 'performance enhancing gloves.'

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Raven Symone said Bill Cosby "drugged and raped" her after The Cosby Show's last episode.

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The FDA busted Chipotle in the act of using cat and dog meat and is forcing the chain to close all locations.

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A 179-year-old man is living in India.

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Hillary Clinton wants to ban beards and impose fines on the bearded.

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Sarah Palin said President Obama should put immigrants on a boat back to Mexico.

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Millions of Thanksgiving turkeys have been recalled due to avain flu.

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North Dakota named a landfill after President Obama.

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A teen boy was arrested for masturbating under a new Arizona law that prohibits 'self-rape.'

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President Obama filed federal charges against Darren Wilson moments after a grand jury's decision not to indict him was announced.

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JJ Watt was arrested for cocaine possession.

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The Department of Homeland Security uncovered a terrorist plot to attack Black Friday shoppers in several locations.

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President Obama has ordered the Federal Reserve to adopt the Euro.

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A protester in Ferguson, Missouri accidentally burned down his own house.

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Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity that Alaska has "all sorts of Eskimos and other foreigners."

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Officer Darren Wilson was shot outside of a 7-Eleven.

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President Obama's 16-year-old daughter Malia is pregnant.

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Facebook is disclosing the names of users who have posed with guns to the Department of Homeland Security.

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The CEO of Timberland said he doesn't want black people to wear Timberland boots.

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McDonald's will stop serving overweight customers beginning 1 January 2015.

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A whale carcass was found in a field in Utah.

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Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg has converted to Islam.

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Selena's killer Yolanda Saldivar has been granted early parole.

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Iggy Azalea was born a man.

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Illegal loggers accidentally cut down the world's oldest tree in the Amazon.

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Food stamps can now be used to purchase alcohol and tobacco products.

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Kylie Jenner announced that she was pregnant on Twitter.

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Jay-Z bought the Dodgers and is moving the team back to Brooklyn.

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The United States Postal Service is selling Queen Michelle Obama stamps.

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The popular Christmas toy Elf On The Shelf is run by the National Security Agency.

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Bin Laden shooter Rob O'Neill was targeted in a home invasion gone awry.

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Michael Jordan said that he doesn't care about the kids who die trying to buy his shoes.

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AMC has agreed to bring Beth Greene back to life on The Walking Dead.

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The Supreme Court ordered the Smithsonian Institute to disclose that they destroyed several giant skeletons in the early 1900s to preserve the mainstream narrative of evolution.

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Facebook will soon make all private inbox messages public to promote honesty among users.

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Burger King is taking Timbits off of the Tim Hortons menu.

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Oprah accused Bill Cosby of drugging and trying to rape her.

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A FedEx driver committed suicide after destroying hundreds of Christmas presents in a car accident.

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Breaking Dawn Part 3 will be released in 2015.

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Former New England Patriots player Aaron Hernandez was found not guilty of murder in December 2014.

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McDonald's is eliminating the Big Mac.

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Kurt Sutter is making a Sons of Anarchy movie with Brad Pitt.

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Singer Eminem gave a real interview in the movie The Interview.

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Dr. Laura Schlessinger adopted ten pitbulls from a shelter and immediately had them euthanized.

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Singer Bobby Shmurda was stabbed to death at Rikers Island prison.

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A DNA test confirmed that Michael Jackson is the biological father of Bruno Mars.

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DMX was arrested for running a dog fighting ring in December 2014.

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Hugh Hefner passed away on 28 December 2014.

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Gang members are painting gun barrels orange so cops will be hesitant to shoot at them.

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Michael Jordan will come out of retirement to play for the Charlotte Hornets in the NBA.

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Val Kilmer will play Tony Soprano in a remake of the hit show The Sopranos.

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Actor Dustin Diamond was charged with second-degree murder after stabbing a man at a bar.

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The FBI dismantled a pig brothel in Missouri.

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The U.S. government has announced plans to track the homeless by implanting them with RFID chips.

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Sarah Palin said affirmative action, food stamps and athletic scholarships result in black privilege.

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Fox News used a photo of Stephen A. Smith during its tribute to Stuart Scott.

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A 2-year-old boy who shot and killed his mother in a Walmart is going to be tried as an adult.

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NFL referee Pete Morelli was given $500,000 for blowing a call in a Detroit Lions game.

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A little old lady was arrested after police discovered she was killing her neighbors' cats to make fur coats.

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President Obama wore an "I Can't Breathe" shirt to the Congressional swearing-in ceremony.

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Michael Kors recently said that he is tired of pretending to like black people.

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Jaden Smith claims that God told him to start the 666 clothing line.

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A ghost ship carrying ebola-infected rats is heading toward Florida.

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Sen. Feistein opines unarmed gunmen will lay down their weapons.

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Sarah Palin confused "Charlie Hebdo" with "Charlie Brown" during an appearance on Fox News.

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The FDA found cocaine in thousands of Capri Suns.

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Mitt Romney said that Michelle Obama should be called the "First Woman" and not the "First Lady."

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A woman in Australia who weighs 600 lbs. gave birth to a baby weighing 40 lbs.

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The IOC has announced that 3-on-3 basketball will be an official sport at the 2016 Olympics.

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Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has been beaten in prison.

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A neo-Nazi woman gave birth to a black baby after being inseminated by the wrong sperm donor.

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Brandon Bostick was shot by a disgruntled Green Bay Packers fan after the NFC Championship game.

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Michele Bachmann said Martin Luther King would be alive today if black people were allowed to own guns in the 1960s.

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George Clooney has an open tab at Chipotle that anyone can use for a free burrito.

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The body of a homeless man found in San Diego has been identified as that of Elvis Presley.

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Governor Mike Huckabee created a guide to help people identify the secret homosexual handshake.

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A federal judge has barred black women from choosing their children's names.

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Sarah Palin said that homosexuality and vaccinations are linked.

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Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson said that homosexual behavior causes autism.

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Kanye West has been banned from all future award shows.

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A woman named Lana obtained an abortion because she discovered the fetus was male.

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Kristen Bell is the most tattooed actress in Hollywood.

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Hostess Vanna White has been fired from Wheel of Fortune.

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A man from Fargo was arrested for clearing the snow from his property with a flamethrower.

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Celebrity chef Guy Fieri passed away at the age of 47.

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Wendy's uses horse meat in their chili.

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Oregon has legalized Molly.

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President Obama has lowered the drinking age to 18.

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A Catholic priest claims that he met God and that she is a woman.

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Mothers with tattoos risk passing "Fetal Ink Syndrome" on to their children.

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Chris Kyle's widow Taya Kyle is engaged to American Sniper star Bradley Cooper.

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A nuclear warhead was discovered off the coast of Georgia.

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Ringer Starr admitted that Paul McCartney passed away in 1966.

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Michelle Obama proposed "Hug a Muslim" day to replace Columbus Day.

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Sarah Palin said that abolishing slavery enabled President Obama's election, and worried a Hispanic president would follow immigration reforms.

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Mattel started selling a burka Barbie for its 50th anniversary.

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KFC will start selling marijuana.

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Ted Nugent said Native Americans should "go back where they came from."

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Korean McDonald's locations sell a burger made from dog meat.

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An ISIS jihadist converted to Christianity after being left for dead and rescued by Christian missionaries.

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Francis Fasher was arrested on several charges after a bizarre traffic stop.

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Pope Francis hired Harry Potter author JK Rowling to rewrite the Bible.

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Pope Francis declared that fornication is no longer a sin.

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Doctors confirmed genetically modified tomatoes killed a man.

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The state legislature of Alabama redefined the value of pi according to Biblical precepts.

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A 16-year-old Arkansas girl has filed a paternity lawsuit claiming that Bill Clinton is her father.

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Sarah Palin has endorsed Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu for President of The United States.

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The government has been microchipping babies since 1983.

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The FDA approved an ativan diffuser for use in hospital ERs.

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Studies have shown that children who are vaccinated are 85% more likely to inject heroin than those who are not.

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A veteran injured during the 1945 battle of Iwo Jima finally came out of his coma 69 years later.

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Marcus Bachmann was refused service at an Indiana dress boutique because the store owner assumed he was gay.

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The Indy 500 was cancelled due to Indiana's new Religious Freedom Restoration Act.

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A Harvard study proved that liberals have a lower IQ than conservatives.

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Two people were arrested for selling golden tickets to heaven.

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Kevin Bacon is changing his name to appease the Muslim community.

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Costco will soon sell wholesale marijuana.

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The White House used passages from the Koran during its annual Easter egg hunt.

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A woman on death row in North Carolina has requested a live kitten for her last meal.

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A portrait of Abraham Lincoln was removed from the White House to make way for a picture of the Obamas' pet dogs.

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The world's first successful human head transplant has taken place in South Africa.

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President Obama limited church services to twice monthly.

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A KKK chapter successfully sued a black baker for refusing them service.

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Monsanto has created the world's first genetically-modified strain of marijuana.

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Retired CIA agent Normand Hodges confessed on his deathbed to murdering Marilyn Monroe.

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An amendment to Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act requires gay residents to wear a sensor for identification.

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Thailand experienced a large storm which involved raining fish.

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A dad tried to sell his toddler son on Craigslist so he could afford an Apple Watch.

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Snopes.com said that the Facebook page 'Stop the World, the Teabaggers Want Off' is 100% accurate.

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