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Legend: Thieves steal what they believe to be cocaine but what is in reality the cremated remains of the householder's relative.
Example: [Jeff and Jeff, 1996]
Origins: The saga of Nathan Radlich's cremated sister's remains provides an interesting illustration of the difference between a legend and a news story. On And there matters rest. In the real life tale, there was no bullet-riddled corpse turning up on Nathan's doorstep, no explanatory note left by the disappointed drug buyers. Even the bit about Radlich appealing on TV for the return of his sister's cremains was manufactured to make a better tale. Well, at least were the cremains lifted because someone was fool enough to mistake them for cocaine? Barring the burglars someday stepping forward to explain the whys of their theft, we'll never know. Speculation on the part of the detectives is just that — speculation. Maybe the ashes were taken by a relative or friend who felt Gertrude deserved a better final resting place than a tackle box. Maybe they were lifted by someone curious about the nature of cremains, or by someone who for his own creepy reasons wanted to have a box of someone's ashes. Seven years later, a news story from the United Kingdom about a break-in there gave far greater reason to believe in the spectre of cocaine-snorting thieves mistaking cremains for blow. Dee Blyth had kept in a pot on the mantle of her Chadwell Heath, Essex, home the ashes of her beloved Labrador. That pot was inscribed with the dog's name: Charlie. Blyth's home was burgled in October 2000. She had been relieved of two television sets, a VCR, a stereo, and gems worth £2,000. During the course of the investigation, constables assigned to the case discovered the jar of doggie ashes had been tampered with. A constable called to probe the break-in fell to laughing upon finding some of the cremains laid out in cocaine-style lines. Clearly, the intrepid thieves had thought they'd hit the mother lode with this jar labeled 'Charlie' (Brit slang for cocaine, so we're told) and had decided to help themselves to a little toot before leaving. We've no idea how high snorting dead dog made them. Could any reasonable person mistake cremains for cocaine? We don't think so, thus we're strongly tempted to dismiss all such tales as just being too far-fetched to have anything to them. But then, there are no limits to human stupidity, as the snorted dog story above shows. Despite what one might envision from hearing the term "ashes," human cremains are neither feathery little wisps akin to ash that might conceivably have blown from a campfire, nor an incredibly fine powder that could reasonably be mistaken for an illegal substance. Cremains vary in color from a grey-and-white mixture right down to a dark grey (charcoal), with unburnt trabecular bone (bone with an internal latticework) showing up yellow. If zinc had been used in the construction of the coffin, some of the cremains might appear slightly yellowed; if iron, green; if copper, pink. Metals in jewelry can also affect the color of the ash. Consistency is the major factor to consider though. Unprocessed cremains are made up of bone fragments, with the resultant residue looking for all the world like used kitty litter of the gravel (not the clumping) type. This is neither a feathery ash nor a fine powder; what's left is a gravel, a substance very few would mistake for a snortable drug. In the USA, cremains destined for urns are generally left unprocessed. However, if a loved one expresses a desire to scatter these mortal leavings, the question of processing might well be raised by the funeral director. Processing involves the pulverization of the gravelly residue which otherwise would contain quite recognizable fragments of bone. At one time this rendering was accomplished by passing cremains through a hand-cranked laboratory grinder. Modern crematoriums use electric processors to achieve the same end, a fine granular substance. Though this more closely resembles a drug than does grey/white gravel, once again would anyone familiar with cocaine (a powder) mistake a granulated product (something that resembles sugar) for it? We think not, but then we've never been tempted to snort dead dog. In case anyone was wondering, the average man renders out to "Cremains mistaken for illegal drugs" is a recurring theme in contemporary lore.
A friend of a friend worked as an airline pilot and for years flew the JFK-Heathrow run. There were many amusing incidents, but one still makes him chuckle the most.
He'd flown a jumbo into London, and when all the passengers had disembarked, one of the stewardesses found a small carved box under a seat. When she opened it, she found some suspicious-looking powder inside. Customs staff specially trained to deal with drug trafficking quickly arrived and one officer opened the box, licking his finger before dipping it into the powder and putting it into his mouth to taste it. "Well, it's not a narcotic," he said, efficiently. Just then, an elderly lady tottered along the aisle and asked the stewardess if she'd happened to come across a small engraved casket. It apparently contained her husband's ashes. Barbara "ashed and answered" Mikkelson Last updated: 3 February 2007 Urban Legends Reference Pages © 1995-2008 by snopes.com. This material may not be reproduced without permission. snopes and the snopes.com logo are registered service marks of snopes.com.  Sources:
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