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The Promiscuous Cheerleader

Claim:   A cheerleader performs oral sex on the members of one of her school's sports teams. She later falls ill while cheering at the team's game and has to be rushed to a hospital, where doctors pump her stomach and remove an astonishing amount of semen.

LEGEND

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 1994]

You hear this one in high school a lot . . . about a slutty cheerleader who promised to orally service each member of the school's football team if they won the big game... it turns out after delivering the 'prize' she got sick and had to be taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped and they found something like a gallon of semen in her stomach.

 

Variations:
  • The type of sports team mentioned varies, with football, basketball, and hockey being the most predominant.
  • In some versions the cheerleader does not "service" the team before the game but only promises her favors if the team wins.
  • Differing versions mention oral sex only, oral sex and intercourse, or intercourse only.
  • The amount of semen allegedly pumped from the girl's stomach varies: always an exaggeration, generally somewhere between a pint and six quarts.
Origins:   Gary Cheerleader Alan Fine believes this legend to have originated in the early 1970s, a time when women in American were demanding equal rights — rights that many males found threatening. Thus, according to Fine, this legend came about as adolescent males' way of simultaneously expressing desire for cheerleaders, the "symbol of virtuous young womanhood" and "highly desirable sexual possessions" while disapproving of women's newly liberated roles.

One of our readers pushes the dates back a bit further, reporting hearing this legend in 1967 about a fraternity brother's date who had taken on the entire frat house with similar medical results.

The story shows how male ego can perpetuate a mistaken assumption in that the amount of the ejaculate supposedly swallowed is wildly overestimated. Tellers of the tale describe the amount in terms of pints, quarts, or gallons, yet at an average ejaculation of 4 cubic centimeters, the product of an entire football team (22 players), would tote up to just under three fluid ounces, about 3/8 of a cup.

A similar tale, driving home the decadence of rock stars, features any number of music celebrities in place of the overindulging cheerleader.

Last updated:   24 June 2011

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Sources:

    Bronner, Simon J.   Piled Higher and Deeper.
    Little Rock: August House, 1990.   ISBN 0-87483-154-7   (pp. 190-191).

    Fine, Gary Alan.   Manufacturing Tales: Sex and Money in Contemporary Legends.
    Knoxville: Univ. of Tennessee, 1992.   ISBN 0-87049-755-3   (p. 59-68).